Calculus and the Human Race~

Ferhan

"Calculus is like masturbation. Its nice to do it alone, but nicer when someone else is helping"

Mamoyo

"Calculus to me is like a penis. Readily available but fucking hard to please"

Ferhan

" Women are more like chemistry. Looks nice on paper, but fcking impossible to understand"

Untitled

Quote of the Day

"Doing Calculus is like having sex, the more you do it, the better you get at it" ~ Josephine - 2006

Random Thoughts~

Quote of the Day
"It's the lameness in life that make you appreciate the logical creative thoughts"
(Josephine, 2006)

Today :

Joanne (my roommate) : Let's Dance again.
Me : Yea... I wanna do some dirty dancing.
Joanne : No way... don't turn me on.
Me : That's possible?

Yea...this is what you get when two crazy gurls wanna dance their hearts out.

Dancing to the rhythm and the beat of pussycat dolls "Loosen Up My Buttons" makes you all sexy and wanted, trying to be somewhere near Busta Rhymes. Makes you wish that you had a guy to seduce and love.

The rhythm of "Don't Cha" makes you feel wanted and inferior to the rest as you imagine yourself as the odd one in the group, vying for all the attention you can get just like Tyra Banks doing one of the runway routine. Makes you wish that you cud be in really nice tank tops and short skirts walking along the beach with sandals in one hand and a hand in the other.

Shaking to "Shakira's - Hip's Don't Lie" makes you feel on top of the world, shaking those ass to tone them into the perfect, Jessica Alba ass. Makes you wanna dance even more.

Moving to "Pump It" makes you feel the heat in those cheeks to the color equivalent to that of Cameron Diaz's gorgeous Blush! cheeks. Makes you feel the sensation and satisfaction you want from a long day at college.

You know what? This is us. We always wish to be others and die to be as gorgeous, as wanted, as beautiful and as perfect as they are.

The TRUTH : We can never be someone else without faking it!

The Conclusion : This is what happens when you try to be someone else.

* Yea... that's me in Jessica Alba's body...

Conclusion #2 :

Be contented with what you have. DO NOT fret about being imperfect, nor complain that you're not good enough for a guy. It's the imperfections in life that make you cherish those perfect things. After all, is being perfect all that matters?

LOVE ME FOR MY IMPERFECTIONS

Thus, if the world fret so much about imperfections, what about

Tears - these too are imperfections. Would you cry with me when I'm sad because you hurt me? Would you?

Age - Would you still love me if I was wrinkled and ugly and can't smile as sweet as I use to? Would you? Would you?

Fat - Would you still keep our vow that you'd love me till my dying day if I looked like this? Would you swear that your love never changed even a lil? Would you?

Blind - Would you be my eyes if we walked amidst crowds of people? Would you defend me if people laughed at me for being blind? Would you cheat on me because I can't see? Would you secretly complain to your friends that I'm a huge burden to bear? Would you?

Deaf - Would you be my ears when our children utter their first words? Would you still sing to me? Would you learn how to sign for me? Would you secretly tell your mum that you regretted marrying me? Would you? Would you?

Memory Loss - Would you still be my guiding star? Would you still take me for long walks on the beach? Would you still say that you love me, knowing that I'll forget it as soon as you say them? Would you runaway from me? Would you? Would you?

* Dear Love, would you still love me more that yesterday and love me more tomorrow then you did today? Would you? Would you?

"It's the imperfections in life that make you cherish the not so perfect things you already have in life" (Josephine, 2006)

You're Worth More Than You Think You Are

I believe I am entitled to clarify my claim, that by blogging, people would start to hate me, but blogging is the only way, on 'those' days where nobody wants to hear your crap, no one's around, the person you wanna talk to is angry with you, so, yea...the blog is the only place I release my lunacy. So, bear with me.

(The following section has nothing to do with the previous paragraph - Don't Ask!)

Remember, you're definitely worth more than you think you are. Just a random advise to those out there who think that life is not worth living. It's freaking 5.05 a.m. in the morning, and I'm trying hard to squezze some sense out of my vague thoughts.
Here's a prologue about me and evidence that transcends all reason, that 'YOU' are definitely worth it.

Me - height deprived - a condition definitely not experienced by models; definitely 90% more body fat than most people - a condition called lipoextraglisemia, described as high body fats that can't be lost in a short period of time; moodtitis - a condition known whereby the patient experiences severe mood swings and extremes of happiness and sadness that flunctuates; cafeinesia - a sickness known as will-not-be-able-to-function-without-cafeine; soundtitis - a condition known whereby the patient talks and talks and talks and doesn't shut up

You wouldn't wanna know...You're definitely more worth it....

(P/S: It's just literally, please bear in mind that I love myself, I would not ever wish that I am not me and there's nth I would change about me)

Claiming a Claim, Demanding an Explaination~

" i've kept it in my brilliant void memory that in the process of blogging i may hurt people that i love and care about but what must be written must to be written"

Wtf... i'm kinda disappointed with the way some people treasure friendship. i always thought that friendship is beyond all these trivial matters and what matters most is the understanding behind all of these. i would go all out to help my friends keeping in mind that my friends might not be there when i need them. regardless of what people say. but all i ask is a lil bit of friendship in return. it's not too much to ask is it? wtf....wtf... feelin' damn insecure now. shit...hate this feeling. never like it when friends treat me this way. anyway, maybe i shud ask myself again and again, what friendship truly means.

I hope you(you know who you are) know that I care about you and that I HATE being treated this way. I dun know whut to call it, being immature or as a matter of fact I guess you must have your unquestionable reasons for treating me this way, and I am in no position to question your faultless reason for treating me the way your treating me now. All of my care and friendship has ended up in an unfallible bottomless pit, constantly longing for an explaination of whys? hows? and whens?

Although you might think that my way of conveying my feelings are a lil too revealing but i guess no one appreciates my sense of nonsense once i start uttering logical but utterly dumb words. thus, being people as we all are, illogical, self-centred and undenialbly selfish, there is no one to judge the degree of perfection in which the One above has grant us, and along the way, we do make mistakes, mistakes that shud not have been done. but i guess, a lil forgiveness wouldn't hurt either would it?

as of today, 17/07/06, i basically don't give a f*** what people think anymore, if you think you can handle me, then by all means, be my friend, and if you don't value friendship the way i value mine, so be it; stay away. and with these last few months of my life here in malaysia, i would not want a complete brainless mistake of mine to ruin a perfectly good friendship.

" Life is nasty, too short and bestial to let a second pass by which makes you feel like a complete jerk"

~ Thanks edihan for being there for me.

10 Things I Hate About You~

written by dearest_beloved
inspired by "wiSdom"

there's a hunger in me that only you can fill, no one will understand it the way i do~

"I hate myself that I love the way you look into my eyes, that I would gazed into the depths of the unconscious,

I hate myself that I love the way you smile, that I would melt right in front of you,

I hate myself that I love the way you smell, that I would wish I could wake up to the scent of you and brewing coffee,

I hate myself that I love the way you call my name, that I would yearn for you to call me when I’m not with you,

I hate myself that I love the way your breathe caresses my cheeks, that I would long just for that one kiss from that lips,

I hate myself that I love the way your body brushes against mine, that I would shiver and long to be in your arms for just one night,

I hate myself that I love the way your body moves, that I would long so very much to be a part of the excitement in your life,

I hate myself that I love the way you talk about your life, that I would wonder whether your plans could include me,

I hate myself that I love the way you make me laugh, that I would ask myself ‘Will he ever love me?’

I hate it that you belong to someone else, I hate myself that I love you and above all I hate myself that I love you more than myself"

Prologue~

Fact

Myself - founded on the morning of 12th of July 1987
"Completely mortified by the fact that I'm blogging,
Extremely persuaded that what must be written must be written,
Definitely positive about continuing to believe what I believe in,
Tremendously ignorant to what people perceive me to be,
Exceptionally yearning for the reason to love and be loved,
Immensely discovering the ultimate reason of this life,
Vastly irritated by sexism, discrimination and violation of human rights and freedom,
Infinitely uncertain about this life and the next"~

Myth "The Substance of my Sanity & Lunacy"

Doubt "The Embodiment of Truth & Fallacy; Right & Wrong; Good or Bad"

Fate "Trying to foresee what is undeniable unforeseeable"

Time "Man is condemned to be free, but everywhere he is bonded by chains"

~at some point, something must have come from nothing~